Finding a Balance When Both Parents Work

By Diana Rodriguez
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

Meeting the demands of career and family is a challenge for working moms and dads. Get ideas to create the right work-life balance.

Less than 60 years ago, 56 percent of U.S. households had only one parent working outside the home, leaving the other parent to manage the home and family. Today, with only 33 percent of households in that situation, achieving a work-life balance is a challenge for many. And not only are there more working moms and dads now, they are also working longer hours than in previous decades. That adds up to less time for the kids and family life.

With busy careers and seemingly endless family responsibilities, from cleaning the house to preparing healthy meals and carting the kids around to their activities, it's easy for working parents to become overwhelmed, stressed out, and wondering if striking the right work-life balance is even possible.

Work-Life Balance: You Can Have Both!
Rest assured, working moms and dads, a happy family life and a successful career can be yours simultaneously. Here are some simple guidelines for working parents who want to reduce stress and maximize their time and energy.
Be realistic about what you can accomplish. You can't get everything done in a day. Prioritize what's most important and schedule everything out over the coming weeks. Your daily routine needn't be back-to-back tasks; instead, make sure it allows for at least a small dose of downtime.
"Having a schedule is crucial. Routines help children transition and with behavior problems. They also help parents with time management," says Arlene Kaufman, director of Temple Trager Preschool in Louisville, Ky., and a mom who has found ways to balance a hectic life and career. Her advice: "Take time for yourself — whether it's a bath, reading a book, or working out."
Learn how to say no, even at work. To achieve a healthy work-life balance, working moms and dads often have to make difficult choices as to the responsibilities they can't take on. "The most practical preventive approach is to know your limits. That means saying no to things that you might want to do or that are otherwise important, like chairing a fund-raiser. Too many parents get involved in too many things. You need to set limits at work, even if it means slow (or no) advancement. Decide how much you can travel or work late, and stick to it," says Scott Ries, associate professor of clinical psychiatry at the University of Cincinnati in Ohio.Evaluate how you spend your time. Once you have a good schedule in place, you can sit back and "relax" by focusing on whatever you are involved in at the present moment. "For instance, when at work, work; when at home, pay attention to family members. It may be difficult to pay attention to the 50th consecutive game of Candyland, but children know when you are 'present' and when you are distracted," says Ries, who recommends reading Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, a book that outlines some ideas for maintaining a work-life balance.Ask for help. What's a family for, after all? Working moms in particular shouldn't stress themselves out over cooking dinner or cleaning the house all by themselves. To help find that essential work-life balance, delegate some work to your spouse and kids. Household chores can take less time and be less stressful when the whole family contributes. Also, consider hiring someone to help you with cleaning or babysitting a few hours a week. If finances permit, treat yourself and your family to dinner out or takeout occasionally. By acknowledging that you're human — not an automaton — you can set some healthy limits on your schedule that will keep you from spiraling out of control, something both your family members and your co-workers will appreciate. Achieving that work-life balance is within reach.

Learn more in the Everyday Health Kids’ Health Center.
Last Updated: 02/04/2009
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