Potty-Training Pointers

By Madeline Vann, MPH
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

Like most good things, potty training takes time. The key to success is paying attention to your child's signals of readiness.

Your child is starting to use the potty. Images of never changing or paying for another diaper dance in your head. But then there are the setbacks — the accidents. Don't despair. Potty training will happen, but only at your child's pace.

When to Begin Potty Training
Correctly identifying your child's readiness for potty (or toilet) training is key to success. It's best not to rush this: At least one study showed there is little benefit in getting serious about potty training before your toddler is 27 months of age, and getting an early start doesn't mean an early finish.

"In general, parents should begin looking for signs of interest around the ages of 2 to 3," says Rebecca Dingfelder, PhD, associate professor, Duke Child and Family Study Center, Duke University Medical Center in Durham, N.C. Dr. Dingfelder and the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP) say it's best to start potty training when your child:
Can stay dry for several hours at a time
Lets you know when they have urinated or had a bowel movement
Has bowel movements on a more regular basis
Communicates to you that he'd like to use the potty
Follows simple instructions
Can go to the potty, sit down, and get up on his own
Has the muscle control needed to get to the potty in time
Pulls down his training pants on his own
Potty Training 101
The AAFP suggest getting a potty chair for your toddler so that he can become familiar with it before he starts potty training.
Once you see signs of readiness, Dingfelder recommends "having a talk with your child about how you are going to work together to start to use the potty. Pick a specific day to start, preferably a day when you will have all day to spend with the child."

Take your child to the bathroom every hour or so, says Dingfelder. "If [he is] able to go to the bathroom, praise [him] with statements like, 'That is great. You should be so proud of yourself.' If [he doesn't] go, just say, 'That is okay, we will just try again later. You are doing a wonderful job trying.'"

There will be accidents along the way, but "it is important that parents not use shame or anger in response to these accidents, as it will likely add anxiety to the potty-training process and increase the time it takes to help the child be fully potty trained," says Dingfelder.

Potty Training: The Real World
Gainesville, Fla., resident Kristin Stevens, mother of two, says her approach is more laid-back than that of many parents. "All of my first child's friends potty-trained before he did, and I tried to encourage him by saying 'so-and-so's using the potty.' That didn't work, so I actually backed off." But, after becoming pregnant with her second child, Stevens wanted to get his potty training completed. So when he was 3 1/2, she began offering him "poo presents" — inexpensive rewards for successfully using the toilet. That approach worked.

Stevens took a different course with her second child. "We had a potty in the bathroom that she was welcome to use. She even showed an interest at 1 1/2. Later we encouraged her to 'go pee.' Sometimes she would and sometimes she wouldn't," recalls Stevens. Over time, her daughter passed potty training with flying colors. "She was done by 2 1/2. We didn't really have to pressure her."

While boys and girls usually show the readiness signs at similar ages, girls often will complete toilet training sooner than boys. It's important to remember, though, that every child is unique. Potty training might be more on the child's timetable than yours, but take comfort in knowing it will eventually be mastered.

Learn more in the Everyday Health Kids' Heath Center.

Last Updated: 02/04/2009
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