By Constance Rock & Aleksandra EvanguelidiTonight, I was sitting down to write this article and asked myself the question: “What is the single most important thing I tell my pregnant clients?”
Listen.
The body is constantly giving off subtle and not-so-subtle suggestions and recommendations to us throughout our lives. The more we adhere to these messages, the more we are paying attention to the electrical switchboards that make up our nervous system, our chemical body, and the neurological pathways that regulate synapse firing and hormone production. Like flashing lights on a car dashboard, you wouldn’t ignore the need to put gas in your car or cover up a blinking “Check Engine” light. So, why do we drink more caffeine when we are tired or put off eating or drinking when the sensations for hunger and thirst find us? During pregnancy, these messages are the most crucial to pay attention to because they are dictating to us not only the needs of the developing fetus, but the paramount needs of the host body that this fetus is growing inside of.
In the United States alone, approximately 12 percent of all births are premature. That means 1 in 8 women give birth to babies that are most likely to end up in the NICU for issues related to lung prematurity and breathing issues, digestive complications, and developmental problems. According to the doctors, sociologists, and other health professionals who study birth psychology, the time immediately following the birth of the newborn impacts the child more than any other time in their life and that the events leading up to and including the birth will stay imprinted with the child well through their adult years. So what does that say about a child who is born early and then whisked away to the sterile Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, hooked up to machines and IVs before ever having a chance to be held, gently welcomed to this world, and loved by its parents? Lifelong issues of trust, love, and safety are just the beginning.
Certainly the wonder of science allows us to keep these babies alive, and gives them a chance at life that might not have been available 20 or 30 years ago. But, just keeping a baby alive isn’t enough if the child is going to suffer for decades when in actuality more can be done to keep these babies growing inside the mama, where all its needs can be met.
Statistically speaking, midwives have far better outcomes with their clients when it comes to pre-term babies. In our midwifery practice we have much better stats than is generally seen in obstetric care. Not to toot my own horn (well, actually, yes I am tooting), we had only 1 client out of 96 who had pre-term labor in 2008, and that was because her water broke before any other symptoms of labor began. Using evidence based medicine, we have seen the correlation between pre-term labor and stress, nutrition and hydration, and teaching a mother to listen to the signs her body is giving her.
The American College of Gynecology (ACOG) still states that the cause for pre-term labor is yet unknown, yet we in the midwifery model of care have seen over and over again trends that correlate to specific behavioral attitudes and stress levels, that when a mother is showing signs of early labor, with appropriate life coaching and adjustments to her work and emotional stress levels while incorporating herbal protocols, pregnancies are going full term and these babies stay in until it is safe for them to come out.
During our prenatal visits, we spend an hour discussing with our clients what they are eating, how they are sleeping, what kind of exercise they are getting, and how much water they are drinking. But probably the most important question we ask them is “How are you feeling?” It is amazing how few women get asked this question in routine obstetric care, when the answer gives the care provider so much of what they need to know about the well-being of their client. When given the space to share their fears, worries, and stress loads, we can speak to the immediate needs in terms of what will make the difference for my clients in order for them to find peace, right now. When women are able to feel some sense of power over their circumstances or given real time solutions to their immediate concerns, they are no longer caught in a stress cycle that is dumping stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline in daily doses to the baby.
I can speak from experience—being 38 weeks pregnant myself—that when my workload felt overwhelming and there was no break in sight, not only did I feel alone with no way out, but I was having massive contractions that felt like labor, at 26 weeks! Little did I know, I was on my way to being one of the 1 in 8 statistic. It took some serious talking to by my care providers in order to change how my work lifestyle was impacting my well-being and my growing baby.
As midwives, we are trained to hear the words and tones in a woman’s voice when she feels overwhelmed and her unmet needs are prevailing in importance over the needs of her body and the baby inside of her. We can discuss the symptoms she is having on a physical level and almost without fail, pinpoint her emotional turmoil or nutritional deficiencies to the periods in which she experiences the most contractions. When given the opportunity to see the effects of stress, lifestyle, and choices around her well-being and the potential hazards awaiting her and baby if things don’t change (and quick!) most women will make the choices that will bring a sense of balance back to the emotional and physical body. And the impact of these lifestyle changes has a ripple effect that has the potential to impact our lives and the lives of our children, too.
Consider that we as a culture have a tendency to bring our work home with us, that we spend far too little time in nature, with our families, and that swinging in a hammock is for the two-week vacation we have each year. What is the message we are sending our children? The most powerful teachings come from example, and self-care is perhaps the best example of healthy living I can think of to teach my own children.
So again, my advice to women at the conception gate or to one already pregnant: Listen. Listen to your heart and listen to your body. There are a million dos and don’ts out there, most of which will scare you into thinking it is barely safe to eat or drink without your food being nuked for 10 minutes before you consume it. And for every pregnant rule, there is some health professional there to tell you a study as to why there are several exceptions to that rule. What I want to tell you is to find that voice inside you that dictates the cravings and aversions, whether it be food, exercise, music, environments, smells or people and listen to it. There is a message your body is trying to communicate to you. You are about to be a parent. And soon after you cross this threshold, there will be a whole new set of rules and theories about the best way to raise this child so that they are smarter, quicker, wiser, kinder. And if you have already learned to flex this muscle of listening to your inner guidance, the job of raising this little being to be the best human you can, will be so much easier, and finding your way confidently through the maze of parenting options will be a breeze.
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